Secrets

Can you keep a secret? Are you keeping your secrets from your loved one? What is the intention that these secrets has remained as secrets from them? Is it to protect them from being hurt? Is it based on some selfish motive? Was it something that happened in the past that you aren't so proud of?

"A secret ultimately doesn't change the person you knew. Every facet of a diamond is real, but each is a different view, so don't let all that you held clear about your loved one be negated by some other part of them. What you knew was real. What you found out was most likely real also. If it was negative, do your best to realise they were merely mortal just as you are. Forgive them if you need to, and try to accept the parts of them you didn't know. Death can invade our privacy and deprive us of the chance to explain our actions."

What if your loved ones found out about the secrets that you have been intentionally or unintentionally hiding from them? Is it the secret itself that's hurting the person, or is it the act of hiding the secrets from your loved ones that is hurting the relationship?

"Your loved one may never have intended to share all of himself with you. If you think about it, you most likely did not share all of yourself as well. Just imagine the shoe being on the other foot. What if you had died? Are there secrets your loved on would find out about you? Many people find compassion for their loved one when they think about the tables being turned on their secrets."

What if we see it from the other person's perspective? What if we are also guilty from keeping some secrets from them? What if it was something that was mentioned before but was not taken seriously then? What if it was something that happened in his past before you came into his life? Would you rather continue to feel hurt then to forgive?

Quotes taken from page 88 and 89 of the book "On Grief and Grieving" by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler.