Emotion Roller Coaster

When we're little, our parents would prohibit us from engaging in games like running or shouting in the evening before bedtime. All for the reason so that we did not become overly excited and had nightmares in the middle of the night. It is probably to prevent riding on a "Emotion Roller Coaster."

Throughout our daily events and encounters, we come across strong emotions like hatred, rejection, exhilaration, euphoria, abhorrence, cheerfulness, inspiration, etc. Lately, I have problem like waking up in the dead of the nights; tearing upon reminiscing some sad events in life, feeling vulnerable and helpless. I am riding on my emotion roller coaster again.

Many thoughts were going through my head, many scenes were like still shots or movie runs being played back in the eyes of my mind. With the aid of the sharing and reflections, I wonder if I am going through an emotional overloaded experience.

There are peaks and valleys of the best and worst emotions, except that everything was happening so fast. It is like sitting through a 2 hours thriller movie and the adrenalin, endorphin and cortisol are pumping endlessly. One moment I could feel triumphant and heave a sigh of great relief; and the next moment I could be at the bottom of my emotional ride feeling downcast and dejected.

I don't have to go through this exercise, I could crawl back to my comfort zone. I could shut down the roller coaster and let numbness engulfs me. I want to shield myself from the emotional elements.

Crying is a strong emotion. Since young, the boys were taught not to cry as it is associated with being weak and meek. When the emotions are raw and tender, there is no gateway to relief the immense pain. Crying is actually a form of catharsis. When I have no one to spill my guts or I am eating my heart out, I find crying is probably the best pain relief.