面线

今天煮了面线和婆婆一起午餐。

面线 － 适量

猪肉 － 随意

猪肉丸 － 9颗

盐 － 少许

木薯粉 － 点点

上汤 － 半碗

1。 先把猪肉和盐、木薯粉拌均。

2。 把水煮开，然后放入猪肉、猪肉丸、上汤煮熟。

3。 加入面线，按食量。

4。 90秒后熄火。

5。 可以上桌。

Secrets

Can you keep a secret? Are you keeping your secrets from your loved one? What is the intention that these secrets has remained as secrets from them? Is it to protect them from being hurt? Is it based on some selfish motive? Was it something that happened in the past that you aren't so proud of?

"A secret ultimately doesn't change the person you knew. Every facet of a diamond is real, but each is a different view, so don't let all that you held clear about your loved one be negated by some other part of them. What you knew was real. What you found out was most likely real also. If it was negative, do your best to realise they were merely mortal just as you are. Forgive them if you need to, and try to accept the parts of them you didn't know. Death can invade our privacy and deprive us of the chance to explain our actions."

What if your loved ones found out about the secrets that you have been intentionally or unintentionally hiding from them? Is it the secret itself that's hurting the person, or is it the act of hiding the secrets from your loved ones that is hurting the relationship?

"Your loved one may never have intended to share all of himself with you. If you think about it, you most likely did not share all of yourself as well. Just imagine the shoe being on the other foot. What if you had died? Are there secrets your loved on would find out about you? Many people find compassion for their loved one when they think about the tables being turned on their secrets."

What if we see it from the other person's perspective? What if we are also guilty from keeping some secrets from them? What if it was something that was mentioned before but was not taken seriously then? What if it was something that happened in his past before you came into his life? Would you rather continue to feel hurt then to forgive?

Quotes taken from page 88 and 89 of the book "On Grief and Grieving" by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler.

Emotion Roller Coaster

When we're little, our parents would prohibit us from engaging in games like running or shouting in the evening before bedtime. All for the reason so that we did not become overly excited and had nightmares in the middle of the night. It is probably to prevent riding on a "Emotion Roller Coaster."

Throughout our daily events and encounters, we come across strong emotions like hatred, rejection, exhilaration, euphoria, abhorrence, cheerfulness, inspiration, etc. Lately, I have problem like waking up in the dead of the nights; tearing upon reminiscing some sad events in life, feeling vulnerable and helpless. I am riding on my emotion roller coaster again.

Many thoughts were going through my head, many scenes were like still shots or movie runs being played back in the eyes of my mind. With the aid of the sharing and reflections, I wonder if I am going through an emotional overloaded experience.

There are peaks and valleys of the best and worst emotions, except that everything was happening so fast. It is like sitting through a 2 hours thriller movie and the adrenalin, endorphin and cortisol are pumping endlessly. One moment I could feel triumphant and heave a sigh of great relief; and the next moment I could be at the bottom of my emotional ride feeling downcast and dejected.

I don't have to go through this exercise, I could crawl back to my comfort zone. I could shut down the roller coaster and let numbness engulfs me. I want to shield myself from the emotional elements.

Crying is a strong emotion. Since young, the boys were taught not to cry as it is associated with being weak and meek. When the emotions are raw and tender, there is no gateway to relief the immense pain. Crying is actually a form of catharsis. When I have no one to spill my guts or I am eating my heart out, I find crying is probably the best pain relief.

Five People You Meet in Heaven

I am re-reading the book, "The Five Person You Meet in Heaven," by Mitch Albom. Mitch is also the author of the phenomenal number one bestseller "Tuesdays with Morrie."

The main character, Eddie, is a grizzled war veteran who feels trapped in the toil of his father before him, fixing rides at a seaside amusement park. Over the years, Eddie changed from optimistic youth to embittered old age. The war left him wounded. His days tumbled into one another, a mix of loneliness, regret and said dreams of what could have been.

On his 83th birthday, Eddie dies in a tragic accident, trying to save a little girl from a falling cart. He awakens in the afterlife, a place where your earthly life is explained to you by five people who were in it. As Eddie desperately seeks redemption and the true meaning of his life, the answer, which comes from the most unlikely of sources, is as magical and inspirational as a glimpse of heaven itself.

The book of fiction was later adapted for a made-for-TV movie. I have watched that too and it is very moving and inspirational. You should be able to find the book as well as DVD from the local national libraries.

As we live through our lives seeking for the meaning and purpose of our existence in this world, may this story shed a glimpse of what your true calling and life purpose are. And how our lives are connected to others, bringing them impact, for the better or worse.

Hopefully we don't have to wait until we meet the fiver people in heaven to tell us that!

Be Your Own Best Judge

When we were little, our parents used to punish us if we did something wrong. It is the feeling of guilt that was instilled in us. However, we were too young then to comprehend the mistake that we committed, or to understand the consequences that we brought unto ourselves or the others. As a child, we depend on our parents or teachers to tell us what is right from wrong. It is always a black and white world.

In the grown up world, there are also black and white where crimes like stealing, violence, rape, killing is totally unacceptable. Likewise there are virtues like punctuality, keeping promises, filial piety, faithfulness, which are endorsed by the general public. However, there are also gray areas in our daily lives. The fundamental and golden rule will be "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." In simple words, we should treat people as we would like to be treated, at least with respect, consideration and appreciation.

Feedback that we received should neither be seen as negative or positive, they can be perceived as neutral information to reflect upon ourselves. No one will be judging you over your behaviour and the conduct with our fellow humans. You are the best judge for your own actions and the bearer of the consequences. It should be driven by our conscientious.

After all that were said and done, let's strive towards closing a situation for the better and not the worse. And be hopeful there will always be a way in achieving that!

On Grief and Grieving

I know it sounds morbid to talk about death in the face of the living. I know it is hard to discuss death where many would feel uncomfortable.

Whenever my mom talked to me about the arrangement of her funeral, I felt uneasy and queasy. It is as if death is near. We all know death is inevitable but I have foolishly hoped that if we don't talk about it, we could delay it as much as possible.

Both my parents were in subprime health since their 50s. My dad suffered from diabetes, hypertension and later he developed total renal failure. We were helpless and witnessed the decline of his health a day at a time until he must undergo haemodialysis to sustain his life. Frequent visits to the dialysis centre and numerous trips to the emergency room for blood transfusion, there was never an easy moment. In the initial stage, my dad took it out on my mom and I as he was in the stage of denial and anger. During his last days, he uttered to me, "For death, one can only face it alone, all by oneself." When he passed away, I was devastated. I felt a sense of deept guilt for not giving him the best medical care and was responsible for his prolonged suffering.

My mom also suffered from diabetes and hypertension. She had a cardiac infarction which left her with a weak heart. Later she has to undergo amputation surgery of her right leg (below knee) because of gangrene on the foot. Maybe it is a common characteristic of female, my mom has a higher level of tolerance and endurance towards pain and illness. After my dad's demise, I was able to give my full attention to my mom to ensure she has a high quality of life despite her invalid status. She had lived her life in dignity and never become a burden to me despite my frequent travel to Shanghai then.

I have found solace and refuge from reading the following books by renowned authors on the subjects of death and grief . The books are written in an empathetic and sensitive manner and it covers the full spectrum of human emotions in the face of dying and grieving. Equip yourself with such insightful knowledge will bring peace within oneself and the understanding of those in grief and dying.

"On Death and Dying" by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

-- for the person who faces terminal illnesses and coping with the 5 stages of dying, and all those with an interest in bereavement.

"The Needs of the Dying" by David Kessler

-- A guide for bringing hope, comfort, and love to life's final chapter.

"On Grief and Grieving" co-author by Kubler-Ross and Kessler

-- deeply empathetic and accessible guide for those in grief, fuses practical wisdom with spiritual insight as it forges a path to wholeness.

Rice Dumpling Festival

It is the Rice Dumpling Festival. I hope everyone enjoy a good meal and have plenty of rice dumpling.

What's your favorite? Mine is the Nyonya dumpling with sweetened minced meat and blue colored rice.